BINGHAMTON- Gathering family members for an important announcement on Monday, sophomore student Kayla Bauer came out to her loved ones as a proud Art History major. The former pre-med student had previously identified as a lover of natural sciences and their medical applications, according to her parents.
“It’s a lot to take in. One second your daughter loves organic chemistry, the next she’s showing up to Thanksgiving with The Story of Art by E.H. Gombrich” her father, John, told reporters. As a teen, Kayla said, it was simply easier to play the part of a pre-med, rather than admit her true urges. “I preferred to build molecule kits than explain myself to someone who caught me kneading clay in the art studio.”
While Kayla’s grandparents have been supportive, they seem to misunderstand her new identity. “They keep saying I can love both, but insist I’ll end up picking medicine anyway. They don’t understand it doesn’t work like that,” sighed the disheartened student.
Meanwhile, Kayla says she has found a community she didn’t know she’d been missing. “‘I feel like I can finally be myself around other ArtHis and ComDes folks. No more pretending.”
Speaking with the press, Kayla’s mother expressed more blatant skepticism. “It’s sophomore year, this is just a phase,” Karen Bauer said. “She doesn’t want to make life harder on herself in the long run. Whoever she marries, I want them to marry a doctor, not some textual deviant.”
At press time, Bauer was debating how to break the news to her boyfriend, a dogmatic Finance major.