Man Who Considers Himself a Cinephile Also Claims “Happy Gilmore” as Favorite Film

BETHESDA- Speaking through a mouthful of hastily chewed Mike and Ike’s, local man Dave Yaris informed his girlfriend’s family that he’s “kind of a movie buff,” despite common knowledge that Mr. Yaris’s favorite film is Adam Sandler’s Happy Gilmore. “You could say that I’m obsessed with the craft,” continued Mr. Yaris, who quotes Sandler’s 1996 golf parody no less than four times a day. With no prodding by any others present, he went on to vaguely claim “underdog narratives” as his preferred genre, a subtle nod to Happy Gilmore’s putz to pro arc to overcome Shooter MacGavin. The 37-year-old toll booth operator said he would be hard pressed to name his favorite director, but it would “probably be a tie” between Adam McKay, Todd Phillips and Kevin Smith. “Maybe Chris Nolan,” Mr. Yaris added off-handedly, before noting that Nolan’s films “didn’t make me laugh enough.” The avowed film enthusiast also bemoaned the decline of theater attendance. “Some folks just don’t understand movies as an experience,” opined Mr. Yaris, who hasn’t seen a film in theaters since 2004. At press time, Mr. Yaris was overheard re-hashing the entirety of the plot to Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.