Culture Politics

Judge Rules NYPD “Stop-And-Risk” Policy Overly Time-Consuming

NEW YORK- On Monday, a federal judge struck down NYPD’s “Stop-And-Risk” policy for being “overly time-consuming” of the department resources. The practice, which allowed officers to detain civilians for impromptu games of Risk, cost the NYPD nearly 400,000 man hours in 2019.

“With this decision we hope to stop the deployment of unending board games against upstanding citizens,” wrote Judge Neil Gafferty in his ruling. According to department records, officers forced between 11,000-13,000 individuals to spend hours attempting to conquer South America, to no avail.

Critics of the policy focused on an internal memo, which told officers to target “board game types,” nearly all of whom were black or Latinx. “Sometimes a subject has a “game night vibe,” insisted Police Commissioner Doug Wilcox, sweating profusely.

Watchdog organizations noted the similarities between the policy and its predecessor, “Monop-And-Frisk.” “Is it less handsy? Yes,”wrote one impacted civilian. “But you still end up spending hours with these guys, while they mortgage Park Place or debate if Australia is strategically valuable. Like, I have real shit to do.”

At press time, the NYPD was debating how to incorporate Guess Who? into its suspect lineups.

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