Politics

Joe Manchin Wins “Scariest Costume” at Democrat Halloween Party Dressed as Self

WASHINGTON- West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin took home top prize for “Scariest Costume” at the Democrat Halloween Party on Sunday, arriving dressed as himself. “That is hands down the most frightening thing I’ve seen all year,” crowed Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, thrusting the trophy into his colleague’s hands before fleeing the room. Manchin, 74, arrived in his usual suit and tie, carrying a binder of edits he’d made to the as-yet-unapproved infrastructure package. “Some folks brought prop knives but that binder will keep me up at night,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Other contest winners included Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib, Ayanna Pressley and Ilhan Omar, who oversaw the “Scariest Room” of the event’s Haunted House attraction. The space featured an empty room, with a piece of paper that dropped from the ceiling with the word “progressivism.” “Speaker Pelosi nearly had a stroke,” beamed Congresswoman Tlaib. Runner-ups for “Scariest Costume” included Bernie Sanders as a wind turbine, Elizabeth Warren as a “billionaire-turned-hundred-millionaire”, and Krysten Synema, who also dressed as herself. “Boo,” Senator Synema whispered to President Joe Biden, prompting him to spill his bowl of candy corn. The night was not without some tricks, either. Senator Jon Ossoff fooled a number of party guests by announcing a fourth Georgia recount had just flipped the state red again; several attendees fainted at Mr. Ossoff’s prank. At press time, Senator Mitt Romney was seen dressed as Harry Potter, insisting to security that his friends were already inside. “I know those guys!” he shouted, waving frantically to an embarrassed Dick Durbin.

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