NOVEMBER- Responding to the results of Tuesday’s presidential election, your smug libertarian friend remarked he thought it was “cute” that you support candidates who successfully get elected. “Some of us want real people to represent us,” quipped the high school acquaintance whose presidential nominee received less than one percent of the vote. Labeling both Democrats and Republicans “victims of the two-party scam,” the self-described maverick said he preferred lending his vote to a party that has yet to wield any tangible impact on legislation, federal court appointees, and/or national agenda-setting. Leaning into his economics major and philosophy minor, your smug friend’s Instagram story lambasted “virtue-signaling” from supporters of the only two electorally viable parties in the nation. “Voting the lesser of two evils is an empty gesture,” said the man who has repeatedly handed his vote to candidates with no statistical chance of holding elected office. In a further post, the political savant noted third parties would stand a chance if voters abandoned any remote form of pragmatism in favor of imaginary circumstances. “We would already have a Libertarian president if people stopped voting for the person they thought was gonna win,” he sighed. At press time, your friend who canvasses for the Green Party was heard loudly snapping in agreement.